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backtothefuture
04-25-2008, 02:49 PM
Growth Through Brokenness

After just coming out of another difficult time in my life, I have been trying to figure out why my breakdown went so well this time;)

I haven't figured out if its all the baths that I take and talk talk talk to God that made the difference. Or my attitude this time to just roll with it.
Just let it happen and see what I can learn this time. I think it was a little of both.

We have talked on other threads about why we still go through the same trauma sometimes, have the same lingering feelings about certain situations, when we feel we have done that been there, so why I am going through this once again.

I have come to the conclusion, that the brokenness though for some of us coming at a high price, also can help us learn what we need to take us to the next stage of our lives.

Heck, I am 57. Have had a life time of pain and suffering. I just couldn't imagine what I needed to learn at this point in my life. After all, I had learned about everything right:rolleyes:

What I learned was so incredible for me. The pieces were put in place from the minute I decided to go into treatment for the trauma I was in from months with my teeth. The pain had led me to wanting to just lock myself in the car and turn the gas on. What I also learned was that was just the icing on the cake. I had been in grief about lots of things this past year.

When I got to the hospital. I did the out patient program. I got a doctor who had built the behavioral center here in my town and worked there for 30 years. My own family doctor still can't believe I got him. I met him the first day. Kind of reminded me of Ed:) That was a good thing. He was big and warm and used the word blessed a lot. I told him I was afraid he was going to shove a bunch of antidepressants down me, which I can't take because of stomach ulcers. He just smiled at me and said he practiced painless Psychiatry. I sat there waiting for the worse and in the end he prescribed the same medicine I was on, but in a time released form. Said they just came out with it 2 weeks ago. The next day, I was totally calmed down. Which calmed down the clenching in my teeth and I sat through a 6 hour program and at the end of the day noticed my teeth were not so sore. I could have left, but wanted to see what God would have me learn this time.

Two days after starting my program, one of the couples from Bagel church brought me flowers, another a soft truffle that I could eat, 4 friends sent cards. My sister came and picked me up after the first week, so I didn't have to wait an hour for my husband. My brother called me from Colorado wanting to make sure I was all right and when he got home he offered to help pick me up also. My son, cleaned the house, did all the grocery shopping and took care of the animals. My daughter also offered to take and pick me up. My ex mother in law that I haven't seen in 38 years, still prays for my family and sent me an e-mail, telling me she loves me. (now she is 96 years old and manages to work e-mailing) Then I got a card from her this week. A friend drove 30 miles to come and have lunch with me.
I was just in awe. This was the first time in my life, I was not the one giving grace, but I was the one getting grace. And God opened the eyes of my heart to see this.

So for me, B-R-O-K-E-N-N-E-S-S I have seen isn't always a disaster.
I have seen you can survive in brokenness, and function and rest in the middle of it.
I read the Psalms a lot. I read that God was my rock, my shield, sends his angels to watch over you. A broken heart God does not despise.

But the most important lesson was the eye opening to the Grace that is here for me every minute of my day, my life, my ups my downs. My brokenness.

He Restores my soul.
Blessings,
Nancy

Me Again
04-25-2008, 07:56 PM
I learned a lesson today. It was a really stressful day. I left work at 1:30 (that wasn't stressful, leaving work), to go get my daughter's car (mine is in the shop), so that Dana (my wife) could take the kids to a swimming birthday party in a neighboring town that has a big Community Center with an awesome pool. I needed the car in order to take two of our foster kids to their visit with their mom.

I first picked up the 6 year old from school, and had the 10 month old in the car already. But I had to carry the 10 month old into the school with me, in the POURING rain, and then both the boys back out with me, in the POURING rain. Then we drove to the ice cream shop for a treat (since the 6 year old was missing out on the swimming). So far so good. The next step in the plan was to pick my daughter (who owned the car) up from work before taking the boys to their visit. Well, my daughter worked late; so after waiting in her parking lot for over a half hour, I left to take the boys to the visit.

Upon arrival at the visit, I realized the foster care worker wasn't there yet to supervise the visit. So, I wasn't going to leave until she got there. I didn't have her phone number so I tried calling my wife, who was in the swimming area and couldn't hear her cell ringing. This went on for over half an hour, before I gave up in frustration. In the meantime, I had picked up my daughter, and drove her across town to her OTHER job, and then returned to the mom's apartment to pick up the boys.

Earlier, when I had dropped off the boys, the 10 month old didn't want to leave me and stay with "that woman." After all, mom had abandoned him at 1 month old, we got him a month later, and have had him since. I'm his papa, I'm the only one he's ever known. He wanted me. It was heart-breaking to leave him. When I arrived there to pick him up, the foster care worker was there, and apologized for being late. The 10 month old was crying when I got there, and wouldn't stop until I took him in my arms. He stopped crying immediately. Mom was put out, but how can she expect to have a relationship with a kid that she got rid of after a month, and then only saw weekly for the last 9?

Anyway, I rushed to the Burger King with the playland to meet Dana and the other kids. She wasn't there. I called to find out where she was, and when she said she was just leaving the Community Center (in the neighboring town - 17 miles away), I kind of blew up at her. She said that if I was mad, she didn't want to meet me at BK. I realized that I was being unreasonable and acting the fool, so I told her that I wasn't mad.

She arrived, and we had a pretty good time. Then we came home and it was total chaos. Finally we got all the kids in bed, and the 10 month old too. In reflection, everything turned out okay, in spite of all the SNAFUs that occurred.

So, what did I learn in school today? That no matter how bad things get, no matter how absolutely positively screwed up they seem, and no matter how much I stomp my feet and scream at the top of my lungs - it all works out in the end. It's just that I went through a whole lot of stress that I didn't need to. So, the only thing that could have been better? How I responded to the events.

Valuable lesson, eh?

ed

Paige
04-25-2008, 11:23 PM
I love hearing about what you all are learning. Nancy, what a wonderful thing to happen in the midst of the pain. Ed, been there, done that, and still find myself re-learning it from time to time.

Today, I had a chance to get some one on one time with my sis-in-law. I learned that even after 23 years of knowing someone, there is always more to know and appreciate. Had a very enjoyable evening with her and a 3.4 mile walk together to boot :)

Paige

P.S. I just realized my post probably doesn't fit with the theme of the thread. Sorry about that

backtothefuture
04-26-2008, 09:57 AM
Thanks Ed and Paige for your posts. Ed, I was exhausted after reading your day :biggrinbounce: I don't know how you do it. But there is so much truth is what you say, its how we respond.
Paige, I think growing is part of every part of our life. In brokenness or out of it.
Nancy

Amie
04-27-2008, 10:47 AM
I read the Psalms a lot. I read that God was my rock, my shield, sends his angels to watch over you. A broken heart God does not despise.

I think that most of my angels are right here at talk-grace.

Amie

backtothefuture
04-27-2008, 11:28 AM
I agree with what you said Amie:clap2:
Nancy