My dad Passed

[backtothefuture]

Hi all,
I just couldn't decide if I should post again or not.
But you have been so kind in praying for me all these past few years.
My dad passed this last Tuesday the 29th. He was dying a horrible death and in the end he went fast and peaceful, for which I am so grateful.
I had called my mom at 9 in the morning and asked her if I could pray with her. Both of my parents had no spiritual beliefs of any kind and she said I could. So We cried and I talked about how much God loves her and dad and talked about the courage she had these past two years taking care of my dad. I told her, well done, good and faithful servant. Her life was horrible this last year with my dad.I told her I loved her and we would get through this together.
I had no idea that 4 hours later my dad would be gone. She was calm and handled the entire situation with much grace. Again an answer to my prayer.
I have written the memorial service and I think it will touch all my siblings hearts and my moms.
I am so glad I came here several years ago, broken and bruised. You helped me get up and keep going. I learned that even if I didn't fell it, God still loved me and I didn't have to do anything to earn that.
If my dad had passed 5 years ago, I would have been angry and resentful as he was an abusive dad. Instead these past few months, I held his head to my chest as he sobbed, whispered in his ear that God loved him and it was OK to go, we would take care of mom. I had totally forgiven him for a childhood of sorrow.
Thank you for sharing Gods love with me. I needed to see it somewhere in my life 4 years ago and I found it here.
Also, I wanted you to know that my friends at bagel church have been wonderful. Sent flowers and cards and have truly been a blessing in mine and my husbands life. I never would have gone there 4 years ago, if I hadn't decided to leave my fundamental ways and find a place where I could grieve and start on a journey towards some kind of healing.
Blessings to you all.
Nancy

[Me Again]

Nancy, my sympathies to you and your mom.

And it is we who are grateful for you coming here all those years ago. You have blessed us with your honesty and your courage. I know I am not alone when I say that you are an inspiration to me.

I am praying for you right now.

love to you from your brother, ed

[Paige]

Nancy, we're so glad you've been here with us, and that you had more than cyber friends around you during this time. What a blessing and comfort you were to your Mom that final day, for sure.

Prayers for you and your whole family,

Paige

[davo]

Nancy, may you continue to find your encouragement and strength in God's love for you.

Your family, and in particular your dad, has been blessed more than they maybe realise by your servant heart. As tuff as things must have been it sounds like your dad really found comfort and even restoration through "Christ in you" – and now he knows such goodness beyond imagination… God's mercy is astounding.

Thankyou for being the loving, caring and above all genuine person you are.

[Barry]

Prayers for you and family.
Love is forever Nancy.
Thank you for being with us here and being our friend.
We are all in this together.
Love you Barry

[Amie]

Truly God is with you sis, and you are a glory. Your mercy will follow your dad where he is. May you be blessed and strengthened.

Amie

[Lou]

My prayers for you and your family.

[backtothefuture]

Thanks everyone for all the prayers and support. I am tired today and the funeral isn't until next Saturday.
I have to tell you that I had such peace with my dad going. And that was because I didn't have to hold on to my old views that he had to be saved to get to heaven, or where ever.
I have a sweet little fundamental at the bagel Church that was just about having a heart attack, because my dad was not saved. She was wanting to go and talk to him or send someone and I said no.
I was so glad not to have the burden or the guilt of knowing that I couldn't save him. I worried about that for so many years.
Thanks so much.
Nancy

[Jotham]

Blessings to you and your family Nancy. Your post was wonderful and i'm greatful that God has brought us all together in this more-than-digital way of fellowship that nows no boundaries of time and distance.

Be blessed and have a sweet and loving time with your family and friends at your dad's service.

[Laren]

Nancy, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry for your loss.

[Amie]

Nancy,

I am thankful that Love comforts you. I am so glad for it!

Amie

[backtothefuture]

Hi all, I wanted to share what I wrote for my dads funeral this past Saturday. I got some of the ideas from the internet searching about non Christian funerals. Something my mom wanted. Thank you all so much for thinking of me and praying for me. I would never have even been able to write this 5 years ago. I feel so blessed now that I was able to receive and then give grace to my dad in the last days of his life. Nancy

Welcome, and thank you for coming today.

Have any of you here today ever thought of your life as a story?. A story made up of many chapters. We are here today to remember the story of Ken Rapley and his life.

In all of our lives as with Kens there are usually chapters that contain smiles and struggles.

Smile chapters are the ones that tell when all is well. Mountain top seasons. Life is good, life is easy and you are content. Easy reading mostly.

Struggle chapters are the ones that are often harder to read. They tell of times of challenges and you often have sentences in these chapters with a lot of questions marks. Questions such as why, when, where and what for.
But, we can find the smiles in the chapters filled with struggles, as we let words speak to us that give us hope. Our hearts will mend and our grief eventually will give way to healing..

Ken would want his family and friends to start finding the smiles in our chapters once again.
We can do this in several ways.

One is by Remembrance. Continue to share as a family and with friends your times and stories about Ken. As a husband, friend, father, wife, grandfather, uncle. His hobbies, personality, whatever brings smiles to you and comfort.

Two is by Rejoicing. Rejoice that he suffers no more. Give yourself time to grieve, but also know that sorrow endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Rejoice that this process will take time, but it won’t last forever. There can be smiles even in sadness.

Three is to Realize. Realize that you have done all that you could have in Kens situation. You went far and above what others may have. Pauline as a wife, you stayed by his side the entire time. Through the ups and downs, the good, the bad .The children drove endless hours to doctor’s appointments and nursing homes and hospitals. Also feeding him, and doing what ever it took to make Ken more comfortable.
Realize that time is over now and that chapter needs to be filled with a new one. Maybe it will be a slow process at first, but eventually you will find the words to write new chapters. Some filled with the words of the courage and hope you showed as a family as you rallied together in this most difficult year. We all have different chapters, but now the Rapley family shares the same book. May it stay in the family so generations to come will have a story to read one day to their Children’s children about a man named Ken Rapley and how he lived his story during his time here with us.
N.L. 1/09/10

[Raggedy Anne]

Nancy,
I don't know if we may have interacted on any other boards (there is a Nancy over on Tentmaker). However, after reading this, I want to offer my condolences for your recent loss. I was blessed by reading this testimony of love.

Anne

[backtothefuture]

Hi Anne,
Thanks for the nice words. Its been a hard year here in my house, so I don't get to post as much, even though my brain is starting to want to ask questions again:eek: Oh boy look out!
My dad passed and 4 days after we had his funeral my husbands brother passed last Wednesday at 60 years old from ALS.
We are just kind of numb and in grief and I don't know what else.
I try to at least come here and read as much as I can. Keeps me focused on love and not giving up on those days I want to.
I have appreciated the posts you have made also.
This is a Healing place Anne. Those that come and leave to soon, I feel badly for. Most of us have been to hell and back with Church doctrine and church and other boards. I love it here because they just love you period:biggrinbounce:
Blessings,
Nancy