Lately...

[Amie]

I wrote another 'poem'..


Lately..

I feel cranky and impatient.
I feel like either fitting or quitting.

I worry that I'm a freak
that either drives people away
or leaves them with clenching teeth; gritting.

I feel anxious and guarded
I feel like calling back all of my words.

I worry that I've said too much
or not enough, and I want to run,
or pretend to be invisible amongst the herds.

I'm angry and sad
I feel like falling down and kicking.

I want to break out and be
or just break.

But.

That's just lately.

[Me Again]

Wow, I think I could have said the same thing about me.

This whole political/economic thing has got me agitated. On top of that, the last couple of days I've been discussing universalism with about 5 or 6 tag team particularists. One woman actually asked me if I believed the scriptures were god-breathed, when I told her I did, she said that she wasn't saying that I didn't, it just seemed to her that I didn't...LOL. I told her that was the most passive-aggressive insult I'd ever experienced...kind of like saying "Not saying you're a Satanist, but it just seems to me that you are." She took that personally (not sure why) and said that I needed to practice the love that I was preaching. I told her I was, that I thought God loved her in spite of how mean she was to me...LOL j/k. I didn't really say the last part.

I'd rather gracefully bow out of that discussion but funny thing is, I feel like I'm writing for someone...

I know that my descriptions may not set well with some of my friend's new interpretations or views, but I am "becoming all things to all people," speaking in the evangelical language that they understand. If I tried whipping out any Eckhart Tolle on them, they'd just say "see what a non-biblical liar he is" and run. Not saying I don't believe what I have written, I do...but it seems of late we have more disagreement around here than not...

sorry to be blunt, but that's how I'm feeling.

[Amie]

Pish, Tolle, lol!

I'm thinking that you may not be talkin' about me, lol!!

I get what you mean. It's hard to go back and explain everything and it's easier just to use an already in place language to build a bridge. I do it sometimes too, when the situation seems to call for it.

Things haven't been so smooth around here, I agree :-). I'm glad for the differences - for me, talking with is refreshing, know what I mean? BUT, I know that I'm a forward person and that can be put-offing for folks who experience that as confrontation. I feel frustrated with that though. Isn't that a conundrum?

It sounds like that lady thinks that you believe that what you are reading is God breathed, but since it isn't what she's seeing then that's not God's breath - LOL!! You're delusional buddy! But, that's me reading into things through my currently cranky-eyed lens, hahaha!

Amie

[Paige]

Ed,

I think it is perfectly fine to talk EVAN to those who only understand EVAN. For me, though, the story I was handed as an E is based on an interpretation that is always up for questioning. I do not equate interpretation as necessarily what is inspired.

I've run smack into the realization that for years I've followed a particular view of the bible that can be summed up in 5 short words..."The end justifies the means." There is a lot of stuff that is on the table for me right now. I may not end up believing all the same things I used to believe, but that is the story of my life. It is what got me where I am today, and I'm not sure "fulfillment" is the destination. It may have been a place to land for a while on the way to where God is actually taking me...

[Barry]

Ed,

I think it is perfectly fine to talk EVAN to those who only understand EVAN. For me, though, the story I was handed as an E is based on an interpretation that is always up for questioning. I do not equate interpretation as necessarily what is inspired.

I've run smack into the realization that for years I've followed a particular view of the bible that can be summed up in 5 short words..."The end justifies the means." There is a lot of stuff that is on the table for me right now. I may not end up believing all the same things I used to believe, but that is the story of my life. It is what got me where I am today, and I'm not sure "fulfillment" is the destination. It may have been a place to land for a while on the way to where God is actually taking me...

I'm sure we will end up together.
Barry

[Paige]

I agree, Barry. However, I think we will still retain what makes each one of us unique.

[Dena]

I agree, Barry. However, I think we will still retain what makes each one of us unique.

I am voting for that, Paige ... took me too stinkin' LONG to like me ... not ready to ditch me, and become part of the Nebulous Allness ...

[Lou]

Amie it seems that almost everyone feels like that lately, just look at all "the end of the world" junk that is being put out there. I'm not sure if that is cause or effect.

[Dena]

Amie it seems that almost everyone feels like that lately, just look at all "the end of the world" junk that is being put out there. I'm not sure if that is cause or effect.


Great question Lou...!

Or, since you didn't exactly ask a question -- great ponderance, Lou!

The end of the world stuff has been around forever ... likely as long as there was a world, or at least humans to ponder the end ... I think it's likely that it's an effect ... meaning, I believe that the cause would be our own fear of death, or own "end" ... which we project out .... and then we have created doctrine about this fear, which we then perceive to be the "cause" ... which perpetuates the effect of us bringing about that end, due to our belief that it's God-ordained ....

and so the vicious cycle goes ... but the "fix" it seems to me, is to come to terms with our own humanity, our own emotions, and our own transition ...

[Lou]

I know that this comes around about every ten years or so but this time there three major religions and hollywood the paranormal and the ET"s and more pushing it. In saying that I don't believe that the world will end or that any supernatursl event will happen in 2012. With almost nothing but endless wars and bad news it is hard to see things in a good light. I have always believed that Ronald Reagan's best quality was his ability to make people feel good about themselves and the future was bright.We don't have that now.

[Amie]

Buzz,

In "Bowling for Columbine", Michael Moore raises the question of why it is that we are so much more violent here than like in Canada and Europe. He seems to allude to the same - a media of fear. Can we shake and quake, and protect ourselves so much that the sky falls - proving the 'prophecy' that "the sky is falling"? Maybe. Then there's the mindset that "something's wrong". That can be an attitude in and of itself.

Sometimes I get caught up in it - I'm human. I overthink, over worry, and over complicate.. My preference is to "rest" and allow myself peace. I'm going to go simple tonight. I'm off to bed early, just to lie there with hubby and watch tv cuz we can :-).

Amie