Questions for the ladies please :)

[Amie]

1. Why do/did you go to church?

2. Why do/did you bring your children?

3. Did you follow your husband to church, or were you the one who encouraged attendance?

Thanks,

Amie

[backtothefuture]

1. I use to go to church because I thought as a Christian that is what I was suppose to do. I thought that was were God was. (NOT!)

2. I brought my children because I was trying to change the way I was brought up. Not one person in my family besides myself ever has or did go to church. I wanted them to have a spiritual side to their lives. I thought it was the answer for all of us. (NOT!)

3. My husband followed me. Heck I was the spiritual one (NOT!) so he had no choice! I encouraged it. Was eventually devastated by his lack of wanting to go. But God was so good and after I left (organized church) we got Bagel church and now he won't even play golf or do anything until we go their together first on the weekend. (YES!)

Nancy:biggrinbounce:

[Amie]

Guess I'll go next, thanks Nancy.

1. I was not motivated to attend church before I had children. I believed that "the church was the people, not a building".

2. I brought my children to church because I felt that without it, they would not know God. I could teach at home, but felt that the atmosphere was important. There would be other children who believed the same thing and my children would be hearing pretty close to the same story from other adults.

As well, there was an element of culture that I wanted to pass down. There really was something mystical about driving down to the water for a baptism (or witnessing it in the church), and hearing a crowd of people sing to God. Maybe that's like what Nancy said about wanting something special for them.

3. My husband went because I went, and he was being open minded. It wasn't long before he didn't want to go again, lol!

Amie

[Amie]

Nancy,

Yet you still sort of attend a church. It's just one absent of the legalities and rituals, right? I think that it transforms into a more beautiful thing when it is about people getting together and being together - by choice.

Just some late night thoughts..

Amie

[backtothefuture]

yes Amie,
I have Bagel Church. But what makes it the church part is the gathering together, breaking of bread and drinking a good cup of coffee. Its all about relationships. With those you know well, and those who just decide to join you anyway for some companionship.
I had a hard day yesterday, a little melancholy about thinking even about going back into organized religion. It can be such a dysfunctional place to be. So I tried to figure out what it was that would even call me back. And I am not sure. I think part of me, still thinks I need someone telling me how to be and act and I know thats not true. So I was thankful it was just a fleeting moment!
Nancy

[Amie]

I think part of me, still thinks I need someone telling me how to be and act and I know thats not true. So I was thankful it was just a fleeting moment!

I haven't been interested in returning to a church, though I can relate to the anxiety! Just recently I went through a bout of it. Sometimes it feels as if things are spinning beyond our (my) control. Mixed with an onset of feeling helpless, I sure look for someone to give me direction.

I'm thankful that my friends and my husband aren't interested in that. They listen and allow me to experience what I'm going through; and walk out the other side seeing that I made it out okay.

For me, those feelings of helplessness were really based on a "story". The story was created by my own inner dialogue based on thoughts that enter my brain for reasons long passed.

We can do this sister, and we have one another's hands to hold.

Shalom,

Amie

[alicia]

I'm not interested in going back to church, and I don't know that I ever will be. I'm still sifting through the "Old Rules" and am afraid that if I did go back to church, I would slip into my old ways that were unhealthy for me. My children go every once in a while, with their friends, and I'm ok with that because the church has changed some, it's just the old buttons it pushes for me. The "turn the other cheek" was and still is a hard one for me to deal with, I'm learning though! Forgiveness vs. being a door mat is hard to differentiate between. I'm getting better, but it's hard work.

Alicia

[Amie]

Alicia,

It's good to see ya back around! I started a thread on forgiveness here: http://talk-grace.com/showthread.php?p=3450#post3450. Shall we talk?

:) Amie

[Tam]

I used to go to church out of guilt. My dad was a pastor so the story starts there. I really hated church. The mixed messages really messed me up mentally, especially the part of how God is all-powerful but can't keep ppl out of eternal torment simply because of a "choice" or a belief in these few short yrs. I mean, this caused me earthly torment! I used to take my kids to church out of fear that they'd reject God if I didn't. But now that I've stepped out of the box, I could never go back! So much healing has taken place since I left. I get angry sometimes that the one thing that can begin the healing is the one thing that you are warned NOT to do by those around you in the church. It's a pure miracle that I left and began to heal.

Now I could never go back to a place regularly that has that kind of a belief system. It would only do me harm. I would say that the second biggest issue for me was the treatment of women. Church represents oppression to women to me and I just wouldn't ever put myself in that situation again either.

I risked alot when I left. I lost alot. But I gained more. I gained freedom from fear of my Creator and a peace I'd never experienced before. Some within the church say they have a peace that passes all understanding. I used to believe all the party lines but never experienced that peace. So I can't relate. Don't know how anyone finds peace with that kind of a belief system. It seemed so self-centered to me. The attitude was that if I was going to heaven then why worry? And then you'd get the guilt sermons of how to suck others into your belief. It was all so confusing and all it did was cause me to pity ppl and their plight instead of love them. I could go on and on. Just couldn't go back. Tami