From us to the fellas

[Amie]

Valentine's Day is coming up and I am taking it upon myself to offer some info :D .


Men are hunters, he explains, who have always been in a role to look for food and comfort in efficient ways. Also, men are visually stimulated while women are emotionally stimulated.

For example, when Mark was asked what was the sexiest thing his wife could do, he said he wanted her to wear lingerie. Linda, on the other hand, says that it would be romantic if her husband would clean the kitchen.

When they go out for dinner, Mark picks a restaurant called "The Keg," because he likes the food there, while Linda would prefer a place that's more romantic. Mark, being the male who evolved as a hunter, is looking to get fed, Dr. Phil explains. But Linda wants to also be fed emotionally.

Dr. Phil turns to their passion in the bedroom — or lack thereof — reading from notes of an interview with Mark before the show. "What do you mean make out? I did that when we were dating," Mark said. "Why do I have to kiss her now?...I'm not coming home just to make out."

Dr. Phil offers advice to Mark. "When you do what she really wants, values and cares about, you won't believe what happens next...if you give her what she wants, she is absolutely spring-loaded to make you the happiest guy who ever walked down the street."

Dr. Phil adds, "Men make a serious, serious mistake. They think that the sexual relationship is isolated, that it takes place in the bedroom. It doesn't just take place in the bedroom. It takes place on the phone, in the kitchen, when you're taking the garbage out, when you're doing things that decompress her, lighten her load, lift her spirit...If you give her more of what she wants, then she is naturally programmed to give you more of what you want.

"Decompress her" and "lighten her load" are the two most romantic phrases I've heard in a looong time (any of you gals out there with me on that?).

Amie

[Paige]

"Decompress her" and "lighten her load" are the two most romantic phrases I've heard in a looong time (any of you gals out there with me on that?).


Yes, definitely! ;)

[Amie]

Today on Dr Phil there was a man and wife on with problems (big surprise, I know, lol). Anyhow, the wife bought some pink curtains one day and put them up in their kitchen, along with a table cloth. In a video, the husband asks if they could be more of a "gender neutral" color.

Dr Phil responds by offering him not professional advice, but advice from a man who had been married for 30 years (Dr Phil's words). That advice was to answer about things like that with "I love it". Dr Phil said that he has come home to a totally re-done house - one that he no longer even recognized and he said "I love it".

I prefer honesty from my husband. Though the husband in the story might have approached the situation differently, I think that it's fair that he have input as to what his home looks like.

Dr Phil advised him "The home is the wife's domain". I think that it depends on the couple. Some husbands don't care (like Dr Phil), some do (like that husband).

What do you think? Do you think the wife was inconsiderate to buy pink curtains? Do you want the man in your life to tell you he "loves it", even if he doesn't?

Amie

[Paige]

This one hits home for me.

My husband has pretty much left the home decor to me. His philosophy is that "if it makes me happy, then he is happy." I asked him how he would feel about the pink curtains, and he said that he wouldn't care. So, I think he is being completely honest when he tells me that he doesn't care.

One of my sisters has an entirely different situation. Her husband cares deeply about what goes in the house. So much so, that she can't put anything into it w/o his final approval. The way they work their relationship is different than ours, but I think neither of our husbands feels that they can't be honest w/us.

Breaking it all down, I would rather have honesty than "faking it" to appease me. I think I just lucked out that my husband appreciates my taste. I have to be willing to hear and accept his opinions if I want him to hear and accept mine. I think it is inconsiderate to expect to have everything the way we want it all the time in a relationship. If I knew that my husband had strong feelings about the color pink, I wouldn't insist that he surround himself w/pink.

Life as Dr. Phil describes in the above scenario just doesn't ring genuine to me.